Endless Alarm

From Gypsy Mama,"Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays. We finger paint with words. We try to remember what it was like to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.Want to play Five Minute Friday? It’s easy peasy! 

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Meet & encourage someone who linked up before you.
OK, are you ready? Give us your best five minutes on: LOUD. 
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It's 2 am. A loud alarm, one that started in my dream, is steadily ringing. I bolt up. My husband is not stirring? Seconds creep by before my sleepy brain comprehends the alarm is in my ears. 

Fifteen minutes later, unable to turn it off, I head downstairs.  Google says it could be tinnitus: a constant ringing in the ears. They don't know what causes it ( regular exposure to loud noises?) or how to stop it (please, I MUST shut this off). 

Desperate tears for silence fall, I try to think of loud noise exposure. My baby girl. She screams and cries at a decibel animals avoid. No. This game of blame is not healthy. GO AWAY.  Tinnitus causer or not. I would not give her back. Sleep finds me once I master my thoughts and start reciting scripture I know. 

Four years later this tinnitus has robbed me of complete quiet. But God is faithful and if I keep my mind fixed on other things, I hear silence.