Time to get the girls a cell phone?

No. Not yet. We are homeschooling now and dad is the soccer coach and really the girls don't need a phone yet. And the way parents use phones as pacifiers for their worries, rather than praying and teaching responsibility, is just plain unhealthy. Still, we live in a technology culture. And tweens and teens want phones. It is part of the social structure now. Every family situation is different. Maybe a phone for your child is starting to make sense. 

I just recently found out about this cell phone for kids called Kajeet. I love the features it has. You could use the features to gradually teach kids how to use a cell phone responsibly--rewarding good attitudes and behavior with more freedoms. What do you think? Has anyone tried it?

Fuel: How to miss a childhood and a song

Blog posts sometimes go viral. Some make the news. Some circulate around a certain group of bloggers. Today's fuel is a blog post that has been convicting mommy bloggers all summer. But maybe you missed it or maybe you are just a friend of mine who mostly reads my blog and not others. This post is a must read---pass it on. It's called "How To Miss a Childhood." And to be fair, the entire blog Hands Free Mama will convict you to keep your priorities straight.

And a second fuel for you today. A song by one of my favorites, Christa Wells. It reminds me of my high school days when I started following the Lord.  I was realizing then that what Christa sang about was true....at some point every one and everything could be taken from me or disappoint me or hurt me deeply. And I knew I needed an anchor. Thankfully as I was realizing this truth about the world, I attended a Young Life camp and heard the whole story of Jesus, my anchor. Happy Monday.

Fuel for summer and my blogging summer schedule

Sometimes I am tempted to grab ugly flashing graphics to make you read something. Today's Fuel is like that. If you skim or skip fuel articles, don't do so today. The blog link today has been encouraging my schedule oriented, give-them-every-opportunity tendencies a challenge. A peaceful one that isn't full of to-dos.

Before you check out the fuel today though let's talk schedule and details. If you love Pruning Princesses and I hope you do, share it with your friends. Subscribe by email, follow via an RSS feeder or Facebook. And if you follow on Facebook, take note of their changes. If you don't want to miss something from Pruning Princesses, go to the Pruning Princesses page. Click on "like" and like the page if you haven't already. If you already "like" the page, click on the "like" button anyway and select "Show in News Feed." Otherwise, new Facebook posts by Pruning Princesses might not make to your newsfeed page. Thank you. 

Second order of business, summer blog schedule. The girls are home and family beats blogging. I am storing up Mentor Mom posts for the fall because I know you love them. I plan to post only 2 (almost always Five minute Fridays because dear readers, that post is for me but I hope you enjoy them too), maybe 3 times per week this summer. Most weeks expect to see a post on some Pinterest activity my girls and I tried where we review how easy/fun/ worthwhile an activity is. First up, we made gak, slime and flarp recipes from Pinterest and plan to give you the lowdown on which is best. (So awesome, I know). 

Now the Fuel link for the week. What a Hand Free Summer Looks Like which includes the 10 things kids love their parents to do, compiled by a teacher who asked this question of her kids for 16
years. Be encouraged my friends. 

  

5 reasons your kids should watch TV

I am about to lose membership in the Christian blogosphere. Or at least lose the merit badge that goes with revealing your family doesn't own a TV or if it does, you don't have cable and only let your kids watch 30 minutes a week. Confession: We have a TV. We have a satellite with DVR. We love it.

Before I tell you why we love TV, there must be DISCLAIMERS: TV needs to be used with caution, with limits and with responsibility. TV is not a babysitter.  Kids who watch too much TV turn into lazy potatoes and perform poorly in school. Sitting too close to the TV will ruin your eyesight. Money spent on TV services could be spent on charity. TV is a dangerous device and must be used with parental controls.

Disclaimer done. Now, here's 5 reasons we love our TV with DVR. 

Watching TV while hosting some of the orphans when we were in Honduras

1) My kids only watch what I record. My kids have no idea there is a TV schedule so they only watch what I record. And I record quality! They don't even know we get over 100 channels or whatever the lowest package is. Every few weeks, I browse the listings, pick what we want our kids to watch and record. Current shows that we record: Little House on the Prairie, The Brady Brunch, Word Girl, America's Test Kitchen (yes, they like to watch this show), Arthur and Stan Lee's Superhuman.

2) Having access to TV but practicing wisdom with choices is a great life skill.  When my girls come home from school whining that they are the ooo-nn--lllyy  ones who don't watch SpongeBob Squarepants or Wizards of Waverly Place, I can actually go watch the shows. Sometimes I report back with reasons they still can't watch the show. Somehow, my effort to consider their wishes makes it all better.  Sometimes we watch half or all of an episode together. So far, such group viewings always result in a great conversation and agreement on why the show isn't on our list.

3) Commercial education is important. Everything we watch is on DVR so we skip all commercials. When we get sidetracked and commercials come on, my kids are marketer savvy because I've trained them. I've taught them about how marketers can lie, spruce up, or enhance appearances of people and products. They've experienced a cool toy commercial and then bought the not-so-cool toy. We've watched part of infomercials and talked about how some are true and some, especially beauty or vitamin products, can find experts to pay to endorse their products. Commercial education is important.

4) TV can encourage passions. Our family loves soccer. We used our DVR last summer to record all of the women's World Cup games. We analyzed strategies and shots. We had fun times with friends watching those games. I loved that my girls could watch female atheletes!

My youngest loves to cook. Sometimes we watch cooking shows with her to get inspiration. All of us are learning together.

Cousins. Watching TV. 

5) TV can create good memories. Okay. I know this statement is sounds blasphemous. But it is true. I love time spent together watching the Brady Brunch, laughing hard at Alice, and discussing the foolishness of Marsha's constant crushes. Curling up on the couch with popcorn while we watch a recorded Soul Surfer, holding hands through the shark attack and smiling weakly at each other through tears--those are sweet memories. After viewings, conversations often continue for weeks as we research new people or things or refer back to TV characters and their jokes or mistakes. We spend time with our girls in many other ways. But we do enjoy our TV.

So, go grab your kids on the next rainy day and watch TV!

Media Rules from a Media Skeptic

I love my idea bag full. Knowing how other moms handle issues helps and inspires me. We might not have the family-ality to duplicate each other, but sharing spurs us on toward the goal.  

This morning I want you to meet my friend Belinda.  Belinda is busy raising 3 princesses and a very young prince. She is disciplined and wise and you would want her kids to be be friends with yours. 

To spur you on, I asked Belinda to share something that works for her family. She chose technology. I've written about my fear of technology before and about the new email system we are trying. Here Belinda explains her technology philosophy. Don't forget to leave her a comment to thank her for sharing! 

“Let's punch Captain Crunch and then we'll eat his face for lunch...”  This song has been popping up around my house for a couple weeks, ever since I allowed my kids to watch a “Fred” Youtube video.  I confess I don't really get Youtube, but I never was much of a fan of America's Funniest Home Videos either, so it's probably just me.  However, funny videos, computer games, TV and social networking are the reality of growing up in America today.

For me, the computer is a machine, a tool to get tasks done and make my life (mostly) easier.  Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times it distracts me from things I should be doing.  For my kids, though, the computer is not a tool but an avenue for entertainment.  I grew up with Saturday morning cartoons.  Now my kids have multiple dedicated cartoon channels to choose from 24/7, plus videos on demand.  I might be called a media skeptic.  Their world is media saturated.

As parents, we walk a fine line between sheltering from and introducing our kids to the greater world.  There's a part of me that wants to keep them innocent and clueless forever.  But in reality, I would be doing them a disservice.  It's my responsibility to guide them in making appropriate choices now so they can navigate the world on their own, equipped with a healthy sense of skepticism. 

While my pediatrician recommends no more than 1-2 hours of screen time per day, our standards are a little different, closer to 1-2 hours per week.  Limiting the amount of screen time is our first approach in dealing with media in our family.  My philosophy is that kids should be using their own imaginations and bodies as much as possible.  Twenty minutes of downtime for my 4 year old is plenty.  The older kids just don't have that much time for TV or computer after they are done with playing, homework, dinner and chores.  We don't have a hard and fast rule, I think because we don't need one.  They don't ask all the time, so I don't have to set firm limits.

Second, we rarely watch live TV.  This eliminates commercials and the “gimme” mentality they can foster.  It also reduces the amount of time they're watching a show.  In addition, they are watching shows we've judged as ok.  This is trickier with the computer, as an innocent click can lead to all kinds of content that would make adults blush.  We have a two part approach to that issue -- make use of parent filter software, and keep the TV and computer in a public place.

Finally, we keep the lines of communication open.  Isn't this key to most of parenting?  I try to watch shows with them.  I ask them what they think about inappropriate behavior they see on TV.  We talk about what to do at a friend's house if something is on that makes them uncomfortable.  Our “save face” strategy is that they can say, “I forgot I need to call my mom.”  When they call, I can tell them they need to come home and I can be the bad guy.

As technology evolves, new questions come up that call for new strategies.  For now, I'm comfortable with our relationship with media.  But I have a feeling I'll be watching a lot more Youtube videos.

Email with training wheels

Bird's question about email made me realize that the carefully constructed protections 

I had created around my children since their birth was going to start getting holes. And they were inevitable and irreparable and *sigh* part of growing up. Bird wanted email and she had done her research. She wanted to know my hesitations so she could talk to her friends and come up with answers. She knew about viruses. She didn't care if I read every email she sent or received. Honestly, if it wasn't for the wrecking ball image in my head, I would have said, "Sure, this email can't be too harmful." 

Instead, I said the more sensible, "Give me until Sunday to think and pray about it." That gave me four days. I called up a trusted friend with four kids. Her youngest is Bird's age. Email was not a big concern to her, especially if I had Bird's password. She said that in the world of tweens and teenagers, texting and Facebook make emails almost obsolete. I started to feel better. Email was a baby step to functioning independently in the world of technology. 

Test #2. Google kids and email. I wondered if there were risks I had not thought of. I had not thought much about spam and the frequently inappropriate content it contains. And Bird had reminded me about viruses (which is usually not a problem on Macs). Turns out there are a few companies who are willing to help parents create a highly controlled email account for kids. Windows Live Family Safety has good parental controls that allows parents to control a kid's email account and monitor where and when they use the internet. Alas, it doesn't work with my Mac. And yes, a blast from the past AOL has a kids AOL. It is downloadable software that comes with web browsing controls, email controls, online time limits, and activity reports. Sounds great, but again doesn't work on my Mac. 

Clearly it is time, based on the interest of my oldest and the number of homework assignments that required internet research, to look into software with parental web browsing controls and maybe time limits. It isn't that Bird can't be trusted  but that even well-informed adults stumble upon inappropriate content or give their email away to a company and end up with piles of spam.  So finding a good web browser with parental controls in on my list of things to do. For now, I decided to tackle email only. 

I ended up getting Bird an account through Zoobuh. It cost $12/year. It gives me choices to approve all incoming mail, view all outgoing mail,  control the contacts list, control what kinds of messages she can receive (pictures, video files, word files, etc.), and block email to or from certain people.

Zoobuh has a kid friendly interface and is easy to use. I know that in a year or two Bird will need a regular email. For now, I want to teach her about Spam, about when and where it is okay to share emails (and other personal info), about how to know if a file is safe to open. 

We set up the account and gave her a few ground rules like no checking/writing emails until homework is done and no signing up for anything online without our permission. But I think Zoobuh is a good start for me Bird.