Cooking with kids: Healthy fall recipes

I love the ministry of Hearts at Home. They tell me, as often as I need to hear it, that my job as a mom is important and valuable. They publish books, have conferences (check to see if one is near you because I know you want to hear Michelle Duggar, Dr. Juli Slattery, and The Fly Lady), and maintain a website. The founder, Jill Savage, has a new book coming out in February: No More Perfect Moms. I can't wait to read the book, because Jill never gives me a formula to be better, rather she points to Christ and reminds me of grace. I need that.

Today, is the Hearts at Home monthly blog hop. The topic is fall recipes (click here to see recipes from other bloggers).  I almost posted our scrumptious 100% whole wheat flour chocolate chip cookie recipe (don't get too excited about healthy cookies, because the amount of butter cancels any health benefits). But as mom, I really want to model healthy eating.  Probably, the cookie recipe would gather more comments. Most women collect dessert recipes-- maybe because desserts bring praises. Still, while they ooh and ahh at dessert recipes, they groan if I bring dessert, They are trying to be healthy and my cookies are just another temptation to break their diet.

To help you and your girls eat healthy, I decided to share with you a cookbook and two of its recipes that the girls and I love. The recipes are simple, easy, and healthy. There is nothing more effective than cooking healthy and eating healthy together.

The Cookbook: 
Williams-Sonoma: the kid's cookbook is a hardcover book that is spiral bound. It has beautiful images of EVERY recipe, a great intro to cooking section in the front, and the recipes are simple to follow (the language in the recipes is more detailed than the average cookbook).
Oodles of Noodles (vegetarian).  
My bug, the 8-year-old, is my child who loves to cook. She is also the picky eater of the family. She hates chicken (except in nugget form), pork, and most meats. She loves beans, peanut butter, eggs and carbs. And after discovering this recipe, tofu. Or maybe she just likes the opportunity to slurp noodles! This Asian-inspired soup is simple, fast, and light. Bug can make it herself. If it is the main course, we serve it with a hearty salad and cornbread muffins. The recipe is very forgiving. We add more noodle, more tofu, more chives. It is always good. Note that the recipe as written only serves two.

ingredients:
4 cups of veggie or chicken broth
2 ounces dried vermicelli (we sometime use rice threads instead which makes the soup gluten-free)
3/4 cup fresh or frozen peas
1/2 cup diced firm tofu
1 tbsp chopped fresh chives (green onions work too!)
1 tsp Asian sesame oil.

1. Pour the broth into the medium saucepan, cover, and set over high heat. Bring the broth to a boil. When it boils, reduce the heat to medium.
2. Remove the lid. Add the vermicelli and peas. Simmer, uncovered, stirring frequently with the wooden spoon to keep the pasta from sticking together, for 5 minutes. 
3. Add the tofu and continue to simmer until the noodles are al dente (tender but firm to the the bite) and the peas are tender, about 2 minutes longer. To test, using a slotted spoon, scoop out a few noodles and a few peas. Set them on the cutting board to cool for a few seconds. Taste them. If they are tender, they are done.
4. Using the pot holder, carefully remove the saucepan from the heat. Stir in the chives and sesame oil. Ladle into soup bowl and serve immediately. 
*Recipe from William Sonoma: the kids' cookbook

Baked Pork Chops with Apples
Picky Bug doesn't like pork and didn't even try this recipe. But everyone else loves it. Moist pork chops with baked apples is delicious.  This recipe is so easy and foolproof.  After making it with me once, Bird can easily just this recipe together and bake it.  It serves four.

ingredients
4 red-skinned apples
1 tablespoon sugar
pinch of ground cinnamon
4 boneless pork chops, each about 3/4 inch thick
salt and pepper
2 tablespoons butter, cut into small pieces

Baked Pork Chops and Apples just before baking. 

1. Preheat the oven to 375 F. Have ready the 8-inch square baking dish.
2. Set 1 apple on the cutting board and cut it in half length-wise with a sharp knife. Cut each half in half again to make quarters. Place each quarter on its side and cut away the core. Cut each quarter lengthwise into 1/2-inch think slices. Repeat with the other apples. Pile the slices into the baking dish.
3. Sprinkle the sugar and cinnamon evenly over the apples.
4. Generously sprinkle both sides of the pork chops with salt and pepper. Tuck the chops into the pile of apples, rearranging the slices around them. Scatter the butter pieces over the tops of the pork chops and apple slices. Cover the baking dish with aluminum foil.
5. Bake for 40 minutes. Ask an adult to help you remove the foil from the baking dish. Be careful: The steam is very hot! Continue to cook until the pork chops are lightly browned and the apples are tender, about 20 minutes longer. Using oven mitts, remove the baking dish from the oven.
6. To serve, use the table fork to transfer each chop to a serving plate. Scoop up the apple slices and the juices with the serving spoon and place them around the chop. 
*Recipe from William Sonoma: the kids' cookbook

I forgot to snap the after picture of the pork chops; you'll just have to make it! What do you cook with your kids? What are your favorite healthy recipes

Fuel: Zebra leg girl, a story to share with your girls

I haven't posted a fuel article for a while. And this post isn't for you moms. It is for you and your girl. To inspire you. To make you think. I think this article is for girls of all ages. Enjoy! 
The Girl With the Zebra Leg Wow Hog Country

What You Should Teach Your Kids

It is Friday. You know the drill. Five minutes of writing. It is a beautiful community and I am just discovering its blessings. Join us over at Lisa-Jos. Today's word: focus.

 A mental list of faults that need to be corrected unscrolls in my mind. The list of traits I want them to have is long and it is hard teaching characteristics I have not mastered myself. Still, I try. I pick stories, heroes, prayers that emphasis fearlessness, perseverance, kindness, bravery. 

And I try more, almost will, my girls not to pick up my faults. My fears. My selfishness. I do not want them to experience the pain that holds hands with cowardliness or discouragement or doubt. 

When I focus on the list, I see the faults. I see the work there is to be done. The lessons that I want stored in their hearts. Lessons I can teach but not force to grow roots. I miss the grace of God. 

Ignoring the list and teaching them instead the wonders of God and the peace of gratitude, I can re-see their beauty, enjoy their quirks,  and wait expectantly for God to mold them. Grace returns.

6 ways to foster creativity in your kids

This post is part 3 of 4 in the creativity and kids series. Click here to start at the beginning. 

Creativity is a divine gift for humans. It is a coping and survival skill. It can grow and flourish or shrink and barely survive. As a mom, I want to encourage creativity, foster it and make it grow in my girls. Creativity is not limited to crayons, markers, glue and scissors though when kids are young art supplies are certainly a way we encourage creativity. Creativity is not an end product. It is a process. So today, I share 6 ways we foster creativity in our house.
Disclaimer: If you are overwhelmed by the craft world, you need to know that my creativity isn't of the artsy sort. I create mostly with words. I don't like to sew, cook, scrapbook, and do DIY projects. But I value the entire creative world, admire the wide-range of skills creative people have, and want to develop these skills in my girls. 

6 Ways to Nurture Creativity

• Accept that fostering this gift will result in messes. Be okay with that. Love the messes as part of the process. Still, teach your kids where the best places to make a mess might be in your house and then to clean up the mess when they done (accept that some creative projects will require a mess to remain for weeks). 

• Provide access to materials. Since my girls where little, the craft shelf has been within their reach. Certain materials were kept up high, like liquid glue. But pipe cleaners, crayons, paper, glue sticks, wiggly eyes, popsicle sticks, sparkling buttons all have been within reach. As they've gotten older, we've added stamping supplies, painting supplies, scrap booking papers, felt, needles and thread, scissors with funky edges, and more. The house rule is that the girls have to ask before they create (in case we are about to leave or have company). When they were younger, I used to stress about how much paper they would waste on drawings they spent 2 minutes on. I've stopped worrying, because it isn't worth it, but we have a drawer of scratch paper now. 

• As they get older, teach them the importance of a plan. When kids hit mid-elementary, some of them will hit a road block. Creative projects can cause frustration because a finished project doesn't match the image in their head or they will waste endless time and supplies starting over again and again seeking perfection. Teach them to use that scratch paper to make blue prints for projects. Even God gave plans for the furnishings in the temple. Turning creative ideas into reality rarely happens with out a plan and practice. This step is teaching them to love the creative process.

• Don't buy plastic stuff. Really. Who needs doll house furniture that looks pretty but collects dust? I have proud memories of my cheap press board dollhouse. My parents let me paint it and use old floor and wall paper samples to decorate the inside. I used cardboard and fabric scraps to make the furniture, and I was proud to show that thing off for many years. My girls recently are into horses. They thought they needed a horse stable. Toys R Us sells a cool plastic stable for a bunch of money or I have could spent hours looking for a used one and then proudly posted my good deal on Facebook. But my girls? They created a popsicle stick ranch. It took hours of non-fighting time.
• Let them fail. When your girl starts sewing a Tinker Bell costume with the felt you keep around and uses a stitch that you know won't withstand her clumsy fairy flights you can suggest she use the right stitch. But when she insists that her way is going to work, drop it. Let her try.  Failure builds character. And there is no need to rub it in with an "I told you so." But a kind,"Would you like me to help you stitch that so that it stays together?" might end the failure tears  and help you two bond. When a failure makes them want to quit, step in and help them see their project through to the end. 
 

 
• Help them develop their own skills without making them love yours. If your daughter frowns at craft time at VBS (which you planned) or groans about art class at school, her creativity isn't best nurtured through shopping at JoAnn's. But if she loves Legos and building blocks, take her to some of the kids' building classes at Lowes. If your daughter loves to sew and your only sewing skill is attaching buttons, sign her up for a class or ask a friend who quilts to meet with her once a week for a few months to complete a quilting project. 

So friends, how do you nurture your child's creativity?

Sharing with Studio JRU, where creative hearts link up their work for the week.

Creativity and your Princess

A bright, needlepoint of Degas's dancers lived with my grandma. She stitched it. I wish I knew when. There has to be over a hundred colors in the needlepoint. From ten feet away, it looks like a painting. Wherever grandma lived, the farmhouse, a few apartments, her cottage, the needlepoint followed. And whenever I visited, the needlepoint  mesmerized me. The threads and the colors mixed and created warmth and home.

The needlepoint lives here now that grandma passed away. It's my treasure that sometimes makes me cry, the thing I wanted most from her home. Upon its reveal,  my daughter, who doesn't remember the trip four years ago to grandma's home inhaled audibly, "Mom, it looks like a Degas." 

A few weeks later, passing a mural on the side of restroom in the picturesque town of Saugatuck, Michigan, I pointed and asked if the girls knew whose work the mural was imitating. Both girls, with only a pause to try and get the pronunciation correct, said, "George Seurat. You can tell by all the dots." My oldest, again pausing for pronunciation added that he died young of diphtheria. (Mrs. Price, their art teacher would be so proud).

And so I've been thinking. About art. Famous artists. Famous-to-me artists. And creativity in general. How do we nurture this in our kids and why is it so important to me? 

The creativity of the world overwhelms me. It is so clear that God is an artist and that part of how we are made in his image is this desire to create.  The ways we create are varied and almost uncategorizable. Bug's dear mentor can create and recreate most any project she wants from reupholstering to paintings. My husband can fix, with common objects, most anything in our house (finding time is another issue). I create with words. My grandma created original and reproductions with thread and yarn (and food in the kitchen). My mother designed buildings

So I introduce you to a four part series on creativity and ways and whys to nurture the creativity in your princesses. Here is some of what you can expect: 

• Why I Nurture an Appreciation for Creativity
• 6 Ways to Nurture Creativity
•  Celebrating the work they create (without cluttering your house)

I hope you will share your thoughts too. I love your ideas and feedback. Don't miss a post. If you haven't already, sign up to get new posts by email, or follow me on Facebook or with an RSS Feed.

Sharing at :

Teach your girl HOW to appeal your "No"

The Girls Club girls chat long lately. They are all ten, now comfortable with each other, and full of relationship issues they don't know how to solve. They interupt each other and don't listen well and are so eager to share their own story that they forget to offer each other advice. Still, it is good, and safe and precious. 

We are reading Nancy Rue's The Buddy Book. Two weeks ago we studied the chapter entitled "Raising Good Parents." And we stumbled on a lesson they have referenced many times since. After seeing how powerful it was, I want to share it because talking about potential issues proactively is easier than talking about real issues in the middle of them.  

Teach your girl how to ask about an issue you have said "no" to.  

Sometimes those precious girls of ours have thought carefully through an issue and they have good reasons why they should be allowed to get their ears pierced,  be allowed to stay home alone for an hour, have a friend sleep over, or move their bedtime to 9:30. Sometimes their good reasons will trump your good reasons. Sometimes they won't. But being able to have the conversation will save much stewing and is great practice for the adult world.  Plus this proactive establishment of expectation  is powerful. 

Tips for Daughters disagreeing about a "No" response. 

1) Parents are not mind readers. If you want to move your bedtime to a later time you have to let them know. In the right way. 

2) Speak in a mature way to your parents. (Parents to help your daughter understand this one, role play both a mature and an immature response. Remember to use tone and body language. Let her play the part of the mom!) 

Immature request: 

Daughter: It is so dumb that you wont let me stay up an hour later. I am not a baby any more. What do you think is going to happen if I stay up? I'll turn into a pumpkin? For Pete's sake, I am 11 years old and shouldn't have to go to bed when you say. 

Probable Mom response: If I treat you like a baby it is because you sometimes act like one. I don't like your disrespectful tone. 

Mature request:

Daughter: Mom, since I get myself up each morning without complaining or feeling tired and since I am getting older, do you think we could try moving my bedtime back an hour? I rarely feel sleepy when lights out tie comes and I end up just lying there in the dark for a long time waiting to fall asleep. 

Probable mom response: You have some good points. I will consider this, talk to your father, and let you now soon. 

3) Telling your parents that everyone else has a certain device or that everyone else gets to do a certain activity will result in the response you weren't hoping for. Usually it sounds something like, "Well if your friends were jumping off a moving truck traveling at 50 miles per hour, would you jump too?"

4) If your parents disagree with you,  accept their decision. God gave your parents the responsibility to raise you and keep you safe. Trusting their decision is also trusting God who picked out your parents. 

5) If four months go by and the same issue is still bothering you, you can bring it up again as long as you do it respectfully and maturely. 

6) You are more likely to gain freedoms if you never do things behind your parents' backs.

The ideas on this list are summarized from chapter 2 of Nancy Rue's The Buddy Book. 

Fuel: Talking to your daughter about p o r n

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I have a blogging friend who writes a blog much like my own, except her girls are older and the issues heavier. This summer she has been highlighting issues we need to talk to our girls about. Hard issues. Ones that don't easily flow into conversation but issues that devastate if we fail to guide our kids through them. And so today, I direct you Holly's blog 5 Things because she explains so well why you need to talk to your daughter about p o r n (spacing so I don't get search engines looking for the wrong things). To encourage you to head over, let me share a few quotes from her post: 

Porn o graphy is exactly what it says on the tin. It is not about loving relationships that are built on a foundation of respect and commitment but about a ‘wham bam, thank you mam’ approach to sexual gratification. To imagine it is anything more or less is delusional.--Vicky Courtney

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Drastic changes have happened so fast in the last 10 years, with access to technology, that what  used to be considered soft porn "back in the day"  may be "normal" to our kids now.  Do they even consider it p o r n? This doubt was confirmed as I asked teens...is it naked people? Almost naked people? What is it exactly? We need to define p o r n as we're talking to our kids, so let's go to www.dictionary.com. 
P o r n is defined as "writings, photographs, etc., intended to cause sexual excitement". Wow. Interesting. That's broad.--Holly

Today's fuel won't leave you feeling filled, but it will challenge you to do what you need to do. And if you have tweens or teens, I encourage you to check the other must-have conversations that Holly has posted this summer.  

Why tears should encourage you

For Mama Loves this week, I am linking up an old post. It isn't a product I love. Rather, I love facts, new information about things in life that reminds me of the greatness of God.

I cry easily. My tear ducts are uncontrollable. Really. My husband doesn't believe me. His tear ducts rarely misbehave. If I feel any emotion strongly from joy to anger to sadness, I cry. It was horrible as a teenager. Imagine the message I communicated if someone made me angry and I cried.  Or the embarrassment of crying when I got a C on a test when I was just frustrated that I couldn't stop making dumb arithmetic mistakes. 

My Bird, she inherited my uncontrollable tear ducts (poor dear), and those tear ducts are not helpful on the competitive soccer field. And recently, as I cried with my mom over the loss of my grandma, we lamented the mind-of-their-own tears and how they made our noses run. I joked that God made it that way so we would stop eventually. 

Today, God gave me information that makes me want to scream to others, "Did you know this? Isn't it so obvious there is a creator?" While reading our Mother/Daughter Devotion by Dannah Gresh, Gresh shared some tear facts after we read about Jesus weeping when Lazarus died. Amazing. 

So today I bring you a few facts on the science of tears as a God Bump. Maybe you and your daughter can review these on a tear-filled day while you soak in the fact that your creator gave you tears so you can handle all of life. 

• We have three kinds of tears. Basal tears are almost constant and unnoticeable; they keep our eyes moist and we produce 5 to 10 ounces a day. Reflex tears are safety responses to irritants like dust or onions. And emotional tears form when stress triggers the endocrine system to make tears. Most believe that only humans produce emotional tears. 
• Basal tears are produced continuously in both humans and animals. They drain through a passageway between the eye and the nose. They keep both the eyes and the nose moist. They contain an antibacterial chemical called lysozyme. It keeps both the eyes and the nose healthy.
• Emotional tears have a different chemical make up than basal or reflex tears.  Reflex tears are mostly plain water. Emotional tears contain more protein-based hormones such as prolactin (the same hormone that controls milk production), adrenocorticotropic hormone (produced when we are stressed), and leucine enkephalin (a natural painkiller we make). So emotional tears are a way of lowering stress and ridding our body of biological toxins. 
• If we cry hard, excess tears drain from our eyes through the lacrimal ducts into our nose. The tears mix with mucus and our noses run. 
• Until puberty, boys and girls cry in equal amounts (personality not accounted for). After puberty, women are 4 times more likely to cry than men. Several things might explain this, women produce 60% more prolactin than men. Prolactin triggers the endocrine system so emotional tears are more likely. Also, most women have larger tear ducts than men so they produce more tears at once. 

Simply amazing. 

Sources: Science IQ, TLC Family: Cry it Out
Image: Free extras

Resources to teach your kids about money

Today is a resource day on allowances. If you missed our family's allowance practices yesterday, click here. And just so you know, this is a resource page for you. I did not receive any compensation for promoting these products. 

You know that awesome bank I shared a picture of yesterday? It is the best. Made of clear plastic so the girls can't break it and they can see their money. The savings category only opens from the bottom to make it harder to get to. The top has small white boards so you could write the amount on top if your kids are more organized than mine. It was made by a company called Learning Cents and when I went to buy another one for my niece, I discovered they are no longer in business. Let me show you the awesome pictures of our bank so you can start a new company and produce something similar  again.

Bottom of bank

Top of bank

Okay. Now that someone is hopefully starting a new business. Let me share some books with you and then show you some of the banks that are out there.



Financial Peace Jr. :Teaching Kids About Money! This kit has a story, a chore list, and an envelope system. It is targeted at elementary kids. If you are familiar with Dave Ramsey, there won't be anything new that you couldn't do yourself. But sometimes, if the tools aren't at hand, I never get around to setting up the systems I need. Also, I would hide this book from my kids. I hate the subtitle "Cool Tools for Training Tomorrow's Millionaires." Seriously, I don't want my kids to see that subhead even though it sounds cute. Making a ton of money is not one of my goals for my kids.The Junior Series. These six cute stories provide a good way to teach your kids about six areas of money: spending, saving, giving, integrity, debt, and work. My kids learn better from stories than they do from lectures. Buy these used on Amazon on buy all six from Dave Ramsey's site. They are half off right now.Money Sense for Kids by Holis Page Harman. This resource book from Barron's covers where money is made, what all the numbers on bills mean, how the money gets from the mint to you, the purpose of social security numbers, how banks can give interest and more. It is fascinating and incorparates history and math. You'll be learning with your kid with this book.

I can't find any banks as awesome as the ones I have. But there are options. Some families add a fourth category for investing. First a DIY tutorial I found on Pinterest. It's from a blog 
called Bits of Everything. 
 

The next bank is from The Money Mama. It costs $14.99 plus shipping and the jars are plastic.  

This bank is best for your littlest kids. I love the tray on this one and each house opens up and would be easy to take to the bank or the store. It is from Money Smart Kids and costs $15.00 including shipping. The main drawback is their size. The houses are small, measuring just 41/4" wx 11/2"d x 3"h. The website says each bank holds 75 quarters.  

I love the look of the bank below. The tray can be ordered in pink or green or white. The label is a chalkboard label so it can ne personalized. It costs $30.00 plus shipping. The jars are glass. Lil'Light of Mine sells them...check out her beautiful scripture cards if you visit her website. 

This final bank matches the characters in Dave Ramsey's Junior books. The three banks can be separated. The sides and backs of the banks are transparent so kids can see their money accumulate. These are currently on sale for 25% off which makes them $14.99 plus shipping. Reviews say they are way bigger than expected (dimensions are not given) and very sturdy. Click here to purchase this bank. 

If you have more resources or thoughts about teaching your kids about money, please share! 

Resource: Learning the Books of the Bible

Spring is crazy at my house. Gardening pleasures get added to the to-do list. Both girls have birthdays within 2 weeks and around those celebrations is Spring Break and Easter. The number of special events packed into 3 weeks leaves little time for blogging. Today I don't have long but I so appreciate you that I wanted to give you something. Today is a resource day.

Part of raising a girl to love God is teaching the scripture. And part of reading scripture is being comfortable with it. If we enter a setting where the teacher says, turn to Jude, it is always more comfortable if we can find it. I never memorized the books of the Bible as a kid, and while the embarrassment lasted only for a moment, I envied the kids who knew right where to turn.

So I set out to teach my girls (and myself) the books of the Bible. There are many Book of the Bible songs, but here's the one we found most helpful.  I don't know this lovely young lady, but I so appreciate her sharing her mom's creativity. Enjoy!

Memorizing the books of the Bible won't increase your daughter's faith or enrich your prayer life. It's extra. So I was wondering, do you know all the books of the Bible? Did you teach your kids? How did you/they learn them?

Tell Her When He Answers Your Prayers

Do you ever pray for little things? Little meaning things you don't need-- you just want. And you want to ask God because he knows every hair on your head, every day in your life. Good weather for a picnic, a new dress for a special occasion,  a new kind of pot for the kitchen. I pray little prayers, but since I don't need them, I  forget I prayed them. Until one day the thing I prayed about shows up. And sometimes the thing does that, just shows up in a it-has-to-God way (rather than me acquiring it through ignoring budget guidelines). 

Those little prayers that get answered in a it-has-to-God way are powerful faith builders. We need to teach our kids to pray little prayers. We must share our little prayers with our kids, to teach them that God cares about more than health, difficult circumstances, and poor people in far away countries. He cares about you. And me. And them. And our unessential desires. Not that we expect God to give us everything we want, but that we can tell him about things we want and trust him to provide or erase the desire from our hearts. Consider Matthew 7: 9-11: 

⁹ “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹ If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

My Little Prayer
I grew up allergic to dogs and cats. When I hit the need-a-pet stage of childhood, we tried fish and a few lizards, but always they disappointed. I would hold a plastic bracelet over the goldfish bowl, begging those golden fins to jump through it. I knew they could jump since the last one jumped out of the bowl and died. They never learned. 

The lizard lost his appeal the day I captured him by his tail. Tucked in the place of in the brain where images will not erase is a video of a detached lizard tail, still wiggling and changing from green to brown a few times. I thought I had killed him.  

My pet dreams were finally filled in a small cockatiel named Bing. He ate with me, showered with me, chewed on my pencil while I did homework, flew to me when I whistled. He was pet therapy for the difficult middle school years. 

When I got married, my husband surprised me with cockatiel. Duncan was fun and could whistle the Baby Elephant Dance and the Andy Griffth song. I loved Duncan, but when the second girl came, caring for him was a bit of a burden. We had to give him away when we moved across the country from Iowa to Montana and into family housing at a the univerisity so my husband could get his masters. 

My kids grew. We moved from Montana to Michigan. My girls reached the I-need-a-pet stage. I still adored parrots and avoided the pet stores so as not to be too tempted. It had been seven years since we gave up Duncan. I had not met a single parrot owner in Montana or Michigan. But I had prayed a few times, knowing that a real parrot was not in the budget, that if God wanted to have a bird, someone would just give us one. Sometimes I browsed the Internet looking at parrot rescue groups but none were nearby. 

In August we got new neighbors and, well,  I will let you read my daughter's version, in her letter to a her pen pal, 

You know how we got the guinea pigs but not how we got Buster the bird. Well the way we met him was while cleaning the guinea pig cage outside. We heard, "Come here," from  the window and we thought it was our neighbor so we walked to the window. It turned out that the bird had said it and not long after that- about Christmas time- the neighbors offered him to us. My mom said we could have him because she grew up with birds and she loved them. She said she had been praying for a free bird ever since we had to get rid of our bird because we were moving. And here it was- God answered our prayers- the perfect gift! Buster's hatch day is March 15. He turned 6. Not too long ago, when I wrote about it in my journal at school, the person next to me read it and made a birthday card! I didn't really know her that well, but it made me feel good to know that other people were thinking of my bird and I took it happily.

My little prayer, that God answered, is part of the faith building of my daughter. And she is sharing the testimony of how God cares with her friends.  A triple blessing.  
Now, meet my little prayer, Buster:

Linking up today at Getting Down With Jesus. 

Teach her to laugh at herself

Near the best park in town is a pond. When the girls were younger we couldn't leave the park without stopping at the pond to seek treasures. Bug, four at the time, was timid and never got too close. Bird though is curious and adventurous. I uttered the obligatory warning about not getting too close and slipping. But I didn't tell her stop right there....it wasn't deep and a little mud never hurt anyone. For once, I actually had a towel in the car too.

How close can we get, Mom? 

Bird failed to heed my warning. Her foot slipped on pond slime and up jumped splatters of mud onto her face and shirt. It wasn't a lot of mud, but I was in a good mood and burst into laughter. Bird looked at me with a teenager glare and stamped her little foot and yelled, "It's not funny." She couldn't handle people laughing at her lately.

Unable to stop laughing, I lay back in the grass with Bug and we broke into fits of giggles. Other than the scowling, muddy child trying to kill us with her laser vision, it was fun. Finally, I sat up and said to Bird, "Look at yourself. You can be angry at us for laughing. You can be angry at the mud for splashing. But it takes more energy and feels a lot worse than laughing. When people laugh at you, they aren't always making fun of you, Babe. Sometimes we all mess up and it is just funny. Laugh."

Possibly for the first time, Bird turned her grimace into a smile because she actually understood my words.

The lesson that day is one Bird has referred to frequently as she runs-by with friends, laughing. "Mom, I am so glad I learned to laugh at myself."  I still shake my head in amazement at the simplicity of it all. Some lessons are hard for my girls to grasp; this one felt like handing her gift.

This was one of my good parenting days where my priorities were straight, my words were patient, and my daughter's heart receptive. We can't create such life lessons. And there are so many little lessons like this we want to teach. We can only wake up each morning and pray that God will prepare us with the actions and the words to teach when the opportunity presents itself.

Fuel: Have a code word for danger

Human trafficking. I've been forcing myself to read about it. So I know. So I can pray. I've read stories where they interview the pimp who buys the girls and is eventually caught. His words are haunting. Things like, "I was trained to spot teenage girls at their low point and then be their savior." Or, "I would never let a teenage girl wander around the mall with just friends, that's where pimps hang out." Or one pimp said blond-haired, blue eyed girls fetched the most money. So I am guessing my red heads would be valuable too? It is hard to make our brain think on these things.  And if as learn about human trafficking, you start to worry, to fear for your girls. Turn your thoughts to Jesus and remember his promises (I know easier said, than done).

I read an article today about Sophie, who is now safe with her family. Read her story here. Sophie is British, but I know, from reading, that human trafficking is happening in the United States too. I picked this article to share because Sophie's mom taught her a phrase that may have saved her. I want to follow in the steps of this wisdom too.

Teach your Girl about Gossip

I dropped Bug off at school after a mid-day doctor appointment. I lingered in the hall for a few minutes after signing her in, hoping to see Bird on her way to lunch. Bird and her friend, Sparkles, greeted me with hugs and gushing words about the trouble they had been having at recess. I knew about playground drama. The frequency of the emotional disasters though was making it hard to take seriously. I wanted to laugh, knowing it would be forgotten tomorrow.

"Do you want me to come eat with you?" Jumping with excitement they dragged me in the lunchroom and we sat down, soon joined by the third member of this friendship group--Swimmer. Swimmer was in tears. Turns out that on the bus that morning Swimmer had said that Sparkles thought blah blah about Bird. Then Bird told Sparkles what Swimmer had said and Sparkles got mad that Swimmer was talking about her. And Sparkles said she didn't say exactly what Swimmer said she did. And the story had been ballooning all day to the point where no one really knew who said what, what was said, or when it was said. But they were all mad and hurt. And all three were trying, really trying to express the knot of emotions they had inside, to tell each other what others did that hurt them, and end the pain. It was sweet, admirable and torturous.

For most of the rest of the lunch we talked about the situation, the need to forgive, the benefits of not talking about each other, what to do when a friend starts talking about another and they are not present. It was a good conversation.

BUT. The situation repeated itself this week. Bird said about about Swimmer to Sparkles who told Swimmer.....different words, different she saids. Same feelings. I need to talk to my daughter again.

The lunchtime conversation was good. But I didn't name the sin. Gossip. I think my daughter thinks gossip is talking about celebrities or others that are far removed from you. But I think gossip is a regular  occurrence among women, young and old alike. I certainly fall into its snares. Gossip is a nasty trap of Satan where our concern for others gets mixed up with our desire to talk to someone about something amazing. And our resolve to not participate gets challenged by our desire to be part of the group or our need to vent.

Image credit: Phaitoon

Have you ever talked to your daughter about gossip? Defined it clearly? Given her strategies for avoiding it? Confessed when you have fallen into the sin of gossip? If your daughter is 8 or older, gossip is already a part of her school day.  Time to have a serious conversation. If you talk about it now, you will have a basis for the future conversation when gossip is the cause of serious pain in your daughter's life. And this will happen. Possibly tomorrow.

Points I plan to include in the next gossip chat include:

*Defining gossip. A good question to ask  is, "Would I say this if the person I am talking about were present?" This question isn't totally straight forward, but Bird and I can talk about the nuances. I plan to discuss how prayer requests can be gossip too.

*Talking about why people gossip: wanting to vent frustration, to manipulate an opinion or situation, to feel part of a group, to be considered "in the know."

*Giving strategies for avoiding it: change the subject, do not respond, change the activity (want to play Life?), be blunt and honest (I don't want to talk about this).

*Sharing God's word. I want my daughter  to know that it isn't just me who doesn't like gossip. And if your daughter is a younger tween, there are some great vocab words in these scriptures. (Sorry the English teacher in me can't help it!) All scripture from the NIV.

• A perverse man stirs up conflict and a gossip separates close friends.--Proverbs 16:28,NIV
• Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.--Proverbs 11:12-13
• Those who guard their mouths and their tongues
     keep themselves from calamity.--Proverbs 21:23

This conversation should just be the beginning of life-long conversations about taming the tongue. Don't underestimate your tween. She will welcome the counsel, especially if it isn't a conversation in response to something she did wrong. And if your daughter is twelve or younger, get these lessons in now, while you are still the most influential person in her life. 

I need to go talk to my daughter some more but first, tell me, 
do you have strategies to help your daughter understand/avoid gossip?