Fuel: How to miss a childhood and a song

Blog posts sometimes go viral. Some make the news. Some circulate around a certain group of bloggers. Today's fuel is a blog post that has been convicting mommy bloggers all summer. But maybe you missed it or maybe you are just a friend of mine who mostly reads my blog and not others. This post is a must read---pass it on. It's called "How To Miss a Childhood." And to be fair, the entire blog Hands Free Mama will convict you to keep your priorities straight.

And a second fuel for you today. A song by one of my favorites, Christa Wells. It reminds me of my high school days when I started following the Lord.  I was realizing then that what Christa sang about was true....at some point every one and everything could be taken from me or disappoint me or hurt me deeply. And I knew I needed an anchor. Thankfully as I was realizing this truth about the world, I attended a Young Life camp and heard the whole story of Jesus, my anchor. Happy Monday.

Making Faith Real for Your Girls

 Thanks to Thor*tography for these pictures

As a toddler Bird was perplexed by God's creation. Figuring out what God made was tough.
"Did God make me?" 
"Yes, perfectly."
"Did God make dogs?"
"Yes and even their slobbery tongues."
"Did God make our house?"
"No, but he gave man the brains to learn and to think and to able to make the house."
"Did God make the wood in our house?"
"Sort of, he made the tree that was turned into the lumber that is now the wood in our house." 
And the game went on and on. For months. 


Thanking God for creation is standard practice when we notice it. The beauty of mountains, the sound of a stream, the vivd colors and fragrances of flowers inspire us to praise the creativity of God. But His creation goes beyond the external visible things. The girls and I spent some time praising Him for our amazing bodies last year when Bird was studying the human body at school. Still, the intricacies of our body isn't the end of this creation. Have you ever praised Him for our ability to learn and discover? Yesterday I was reminded to praise Him for the brains He has given man to advance medicine.


Yesterday, gratitude and wonder brought tears to my eyes as I held a creation of God and a receiver of the benefits of modern medicine. Prayer was a natural response to the powerful emotions.  

Lydia shortly after birth at 2 pounds and 2 oz. 

In the last year, our small fellowship group has struggled and wept as miscarriages and a stillbirth shook our small body. Since our dear friend Laura, of beauty role model and flower headband fame, delivered a precious girl at 28 weeks, we've been praying fervently. And after all the tragedies, my girls started to think that having a healthy baby was difficult and rare and were wondering why God had not saved any of the new lives He created. They were wrestling with life's toughest questions. They were hesitant to hope they would ever meet baby Lydia. 


Yesterday, almost twelve weeks after her birth, the girls and I met baby Lydia who is now a healthy six pound baby. I even held her and kissed her sweet head. And the girls, they witnessed life, from the faith that persevered through loss and still praised His name to faith that celebrated the knowledge of doctors, nurses and technology as sweet Lydia finally came home.


My girls aren't old enough for me to give advice on how to help make your kids' faith real. But I know, that sending them to Sunday school every week and getting them confirmed won't be enough. They need to see faith lived out, through sorrows and joy. 


Side note: Starry-eyed and smitten while I stared at Lydia, this song kept going through my head. Maybe it will bless you too: 

Tell Her When He Answers Your Prayers

Do you ever pray for little things? Little meaning things you don't need-- you just want. And you want to ask God because he knows every hair on your head, every day in your life. Good weather for a picnic, a new dress for a special occasion,  a new kind of pot for the kitchen. I pray little prayers, but since I don't need them, I  forget I prayed them. Until one day the thing I prayed about shows up. And sometimes the thing does that, just shows up in a it-has-to-God way (rather than me acquiring it through ignoring budget guidelines). 

Those little prayers that get answered in a it-has-to-God way are powerful faith builders. We need to teach our kids to pray little prayers. We must share our little prayers with our kids, to teach them that God cares about more than health, difficult circumstances, and poor people in far away countries. He cares about you. And me. And them. And our unessential desires. Not that we expect God to give us everything we want, but that we can tell him about things we want and trust him to provide or erase the desire from our hearts. Consider Matthew 7: 9-11: 

⁹ “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹ If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

My Little Prayer
I grew up allergic to dogs and cats. When I hit the need-a-pet stage of childhood, we tried fish and a few lizards, but always they disappointed. I would hold a plastic bracelet over the goldfish bowl, begging those golden fins to jump through it. I knew they could jump since the last one jumped out of the bowl and died. They never learned. 

The lizard lost his appeal the day I captured him by his tail. Tucked in the place of in the brain where images will not erase is a video of a detached lizard tail, still wiggling and changing from green to brown a few times. I thought I had killed him.  

My pet dreams were finally filled in a small cockatiel named Bing. He ate with me, showered with me, chewed on my pencil while I did homework, flew to me when I whistled. He was pet therapy for the difficult middle school years. 

When I got married, my husband surprised me with cockatiel. Duncan was fun and could whistle the Baby Elephant Dance and the Andy Griffth song. I loved Duncan, but when the second girl came, caring for him was a bit of a burden. We had to give him away when we moved across the country from Iowa to Montana and into family housing at a the univerisity so my husband could get his masters. 

My kids grew. We moved from Montana to Michigan. My girls reached the I-need-a-pet stage. I still adored parrots and avoided the pet stores so as not to be too tempted. It had been seven years since we gave up Duncan. I had not met a single parrot owner in Montana or Michigan. But I had prayed a few times, knowing that a real parrot was not in the budget, that if God wanted to have a bird, someone would just give us one. Sometimes I browsed the Internet looking at parrot rescue groups but none were nearby. 

In August we got new neighbors and, well,  I will let you read my daughter's version, in her letter to a her pen pal, 

You know how we got the guinea pigs but not how we got Buster the bird. Well the way we met him was while cleaning the guinea pig cage outside. We heard, "Come here," from  the window and we thought it was our neighbor so we walked to the window. It turned out that the bird had said it and not long after that- about Christmas time- the neighbors offered him to us. My mom said we could have him because she grew up with birds and she loved them. She said she had been praying for a free bird ever since we had to get rid of our bird because we were moving. And here it was- God answered our prayers- the perfect gift! Buster's hatch day is March 15. He turned 6. Not too long ago, when I wrote about it in my journal at school, the person next to me read it and made a birthday card! I didn't really know her that well, but it made me feel good to know that other people were thinking of my bird and I took it happily.

My little prayer, that God answered, is part of the faith building of my daughter. And she is sharing the testimony of how God cares with her friends.  A triple blessing.  
Now, meet my little prayer, Buster:

Linking up today at Getting Down With Jesus. 

Mentor Mom: Linda shares how her family works

When you move, there are people, who though not your best friend, you wish you could see again because they were wise, interesting, or inspiring. Today I would like you to meet Linda. Linda's family is one my husband and I have long admired. It's been almost 7 years since I've lived in the same city as Linda. Her twins are all grown up and she is a grandma now. Linda is the kind of person who handles life's twists with grace and peace and prayers. I wish I could have watched her handle the 7 years. And mentor mom? Well, what a great excuse to contact her and learn. 

When I ask someone to be a mentor mom, I give them a list of questions to help them brainstorm fro their post. Some moms answer just a few of the questions, some focus on one, some find their own topic. Linda chose to answer about ten of them! 

Tell us about your family:

We've been married 29 years and have 4 kids aged 28, 25, 20, 20.  We have three daughters and one son.  We We live in Des Moines.

Are there regular practices you used to help your kids grow in their faith?

Our regular practices included meeting regularly with believers of all ages in all kinds of settings- homes, parks, restaurants, and we did attend a local fellowship.  We prayed aloud "on the fly" - in the car, when we were scared, when bad things happened, when kids were mean at school, etc.  Sometimes we read the Bible together, sometimes we prayed before bed, all through high school my husband read aloud to the girls.  We read good books, not necessarily Christian books.   Regular practices changed as ages changed, as schedule changed, as circumstances changed.

I did not schedule quiet time for them.  I tried various time to have quiet times with my girls individually.  It did not happen nearly as often as I intended or wanted.

What did you pray for your kids? 

Things I pray:   they would fear God and bend to His will - they'd know Him

they'd respond to God's love

He'd give them spiritual eyes

protection from the evil one

Now that they are older - a husband who loves God and people and will cherish her

Did you have issues with modesty? Tell us about it.

We had minor issues with modesty.  They dressed modestly compared to our culture.  I dress modestly, and we had a general guideline of modesty, no specific rules.

How did you handle sleepovers? 

I dislike sleepovers at any age.  Sleep was a priority for me as a mom of 4 kids and no child comes home from a sleepover well-rested and/or in a good mood.  I personally felt uncomfortable with sleepovers because how do you ask who will be there - stepdads?  big brothers? uncles? inappropriate movies, games, ouija boards? The scary list is long.

Curfews?

They made their own social engagement decisions in high school.  We'd ask questions, and give a time to be home.  Sometimes we argued about it.

Dating/courtship? Share advice or rules you gave your daughters about these things. 

We highly encouraged group activities with boys/girls in middle school/high school.  We let them go to school dances with dates in a group.  Dating did not become an issue.  None of our girls were boy crazy.

Our oldest went to college, fell in love as a freshman.  She had known the young man for a few years, as our families were friends.  We supported and encouraged their decision to marry at 20/21 knowing it is not culturally done often now.  Both were responsive to us (parents) and God.  They both finished college and he has now completed med school and residency.  They lived in low income housing and held jobs while attending school.  Marriage comes with responsibilities and privileges.

My advice regarding boyfriends would be to encourage any guy friends to spend lots of time with your own family.  It becomes evident if he does not fit in or want to be with you.  Siblings often listen to each other's opinions and observations.  If he does not want to spend time as a family, it's a red flag.  Dating and marriage is  a chance to influence and befriend a young man.

I love my daughters and my son.  They are all gifts.  It is very satisfying to see our married daughter make a home, love her own husband and children, show hospitality to others, live out her relationship with God.  

Other advice? 

One other bit of advice would be to expose your own daughters to other mothers and fathers.  It can clarify, help solidify your own values.  It can also give your girls someone to talk to if/when she does not want to talk to you. 

How did you encourage the father/daughter relationship?

Our girls developed a love for football by watching with their dad.  Their dad went on camping trips with other dads/ daughters through church each fall and spring.  He also took the girls on several Boundary Waters canoe trips. Live life openly with your kids.  Include them whenever you can and include their friends whenever you can.

The mother/daughter relationship?

Since my girls are all adults, we want to do girls only trip every 2 years.  Our first was a road trip to Texas to visit a friend who had moved.  It was a blast.

How did you handle sibling conflict?

The sibling conflict thing was a tough one for us.  I still hurt for my girls when they are not getting along and I can't force them to love one another.  As kids, we had them "work it out"  but of course going through the motions can be done easier than heartfelt apologies.  

School choices are tough. Can you explain the choices your family made regarding schooling? 

School choice for us was city public school.  It was good and bad.  We had excellent teachers and some poor ones.  We chose to fight  unbiblical "stuff"  in a public school setting rather than a Christian school and did not have finances to fund private school anyway.  I recommend really seeking God on school or home school or private.  There are no perfect scenarios.  We live in a very fallen world, and fallen people teach in all those places.

Thank you so much Linda for sharing your wisdom. 

Faith that Shines

Time for a look at faith that encourages us. Aaron Shust. His wife Sarah. A public Christian music couple. You might know his work.

In 2010 Aaron and Sarah discovered that their son Nicky, then two, had a rare disease called Eosinophilic Esophagitis, a painful disease that would not allow Nicky to take in nutrients. He was hooked to feeding tubes for months. 


The first days of the diagnosis were especially trying. Read this excerpt from Aaron's blog in 2010: 

Wednesday 12/1: Sarah takes Nicky back to Children’s Hospital after reported discomfort.

Thursday 12/2: Nicky receives his 8th feeding tube, his 3rd GJ (a replacement) and my mom calls and tells me that my 90-year-old Grandma has until Monday to live, if that.

Friday 12/3: Nicky is discharged first thing in the morning and cleared to travel with us to Georgia to say our goodbyes to Grandma. We leave home at 1:40pm and arrive at 12:40 in the morning on…

Saturday 12/4: Nicky turns 2. Grandma hangs on and bounces between lucidity and living in the past. She’s bedridden, can hardly see, hear or move but is still the same, sweet, little lady we all love. Many hymns sung and “Jesus, There’s Just Something About That Name” sung countless times. Her obvious favorite.

Sunday 12/5: More time with Grandma. Nicky gets a fever. Steelers win.

Monday 12/6: Nicky’s fever won’t diminish with Tylenol, hovers around 102. We say our tearful goodbyes to a lady about to move into a pimp mansion and have dinner with her Savior and her God, then we hop into the car suddenly at 9:41PM and begin to drive back to Pittsburgh, checking Nicky’s temp ever hour. If he hits 103.5 and Tylenol doesn’t lower it, we have to stop at nearest ER.

Tuesday 12/7: at 2am maybe, Nicky hits 103.5. Tylenol works and we keep driving. My angel wife, Sarah, stays awake to help me stay awake (along with the prayers of friends and 5 hour energy drinks. blah) I drop off Sarah and Nicky at Children’s hospital at 10am, drop of Daniel at friends at 11 and go home to go to sleep. Wake up 4:30pm. Call Sarah for update: Nicky has severe Pneumonia, they can’t stabilize him enough to move him out of the ER and into his room. Heart rate is too high, BP is too low. Fever is still at 104.

My day has been much better than Job’s worst, but I’ll still say it. “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.”

Miracously, after a few months of not knowing if little Nicky would survive, the Eosiniphilic Esophagitis, a life-long disease, disappeared. Doctors could not explain why. 

On January 13, 2012, the Shusts welcomed a third baby boy into the world. A new son, with a new series complications. But the shining story is not complications with the baby's health. Read Aaron's blog and watch his faith shine. It will encourage you. Read January 14 first. 

Shustlost January 14

Shustlog January 16